Parents need more rewards than the child with ADHD and similar challenging behaviours.

A loving and supportive parent said to me the other day that her child (with autism) didn’t  relate to rewards. So putting the reward chart in place was a problem.

The question I asked was what did she do to reward herself? Answer – she didn’t!!!

As a busy parent balancing everything that life brings and worn down and worn out she gave everything to everyone except herself.

By taking just a few minutes out each day to reward yourself you are setting in a pattern with your child that they too are worthy of rewards!

Does wonders for the self esteem, both parent’s and child’s!

Here is an article I wrote alongside the Personal Holistic Happiness programme – See the Snow friends page http://www.hetwebsite.com/snowfriends

I have included it here firstly, to assist your stress levels in dealing with a behaviourally challenging chid and secondly to give that a child a step up to self esteem + committing to the reward chart!

In my e-book, ‘Personal Holistic Happiness’, I have included a life-style audit. It examines different aspects of our lives and how much balance we manage to achieve – when we have completed our audit, we then create an action plan of  how we can redress any imbalance in our daily / weekly / monthly life-style.

By planning to create balance and quality time in our lives for ourselves, we start to make improvements in the most important relationship we have in our life – our relationship with ourselves!

When we make improvements in that significant relationship we see it reflect in all our other relationships.

When on a business trip to Jersey one day, I saw a very beautiful and expensive ring for sale in a jeweller’s shop window.

A  friend who was with me at the time just nonchalantly asked, if I was going to buy it. My initial reaction was to ask if she was serious? – Had she seen the price tag on it ?– I then saw and  changed a deep seated pattern within myself, a feeling of never feeling deserving of the best – and realising as long as I felt that…. I NEVER RECEIVED THE BEST!

I bought the ring and placed it on my own finger and made a promise and commitment to me – that I will always be fully there for me, take care of me and love ME!.. That day I felt truly cherished for the first time in my life – I had entered into a relationship with myself that had always fallen short before, as I had projected my love and giving onto other people in my life and felt hurt when so much loving and giving didn’t come back to me. The result… relationships that didn’t work….

In giving that loving and giving to me I completed the circuit and opened up the pathway for happy and healthy relationships in my life.. without need and without expectation…. Because at  the root of expectation lies hurt.

Everyday, I do something for me to show me how much I care about me…

From that day onwards, contracts for my business,  opportunities, new relationships, healthier established relationships with friends and families took on a special new meaning.. I still wear that ring and every day someone comments on how beautiful it looks – a nostalgic reminder of the day I met me!

So… what would you do if you were your own lover… to demonstrate to YOU how much you cared?

For example, would you prepare a special breakfast on  a tray with a single red rose in a vase – just to show how much you care? Well what’s to stop you?  And then sit down, eat it and feel appreciated.

The suggestions in the checklist I have enclosed in this article, are a step on the way to the Holistic Health Audit – to find balance in our lives…

This checklist is about finding balance in that all important relationship with our self!

Try it for yourself and see how your relationship improves with yourself and those around you….

ENJOY!

Here is a list of things to do …Take special time out to honour yourself … try at least one of these suggestions every day for a month and see the difference it makes. After a  month, evaluate  how much more loving and giving people are towards you.

Place a tick at the side of each treat  when you have achieved it.

SUGGESTION

NUMBER OF TIMES ACHIEVED ü

Rub your feet.. better still massage them with an essential oil.

Take yourself out to watch a sunrise or a sunset.

Make an edible treat and present it beautifully – just for you

Go to the park.

Plan a dream holiday.

Visit a library.

Visit an art museum

Lean against or sit beneath a special tree that calls you.

Read a book.

Play a game or have fun with a  pet.

Write a letter to yourself.

Have a long soak in a bath

Put the radio on and sing along to a song

……Then dance to another one!

Plant something in your garden as a gift for you

Go out and buy flowers for you for your home.

Draw or paint a picture for you

Write a  poem to you

Take yourself to a movie

Go on a ride somewhere you’ve never been.

Begin a new hobby

Sit outside and watch the clouds.. what shapes and pictures do you see?

Tags: ADHD ADHD Behaviour ADHD Natural Reward Charts

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