I heard a great comment from a Mom the other day. She had lost her temper in a situation that was nothing to do with her child but did that thing we all do at times like this and said a naughty word! What happened was that her son heard and gave her time out for saying it – Mom accepted the consequence with good grace.

How refreshing to hear a story like this where a parent or carer agrees to honour their own rules. So many times  that doesn’t happen –and the child sees a “Do what I say and not what I do” routine play out. For anyone that is galling, but for a child with behavioural problems it is an absolute no- no – so I have put together a few tips to help you stand your ground:

1.       Stay grounded and centred yourself. If you allow your child to press all your buttons – you are not going to get anywhere and the situation whatever it is, will go from bad to worse. The Bach Flower Remedies are a great place to start with this. They will change the feelings in an instant. Use your natural remedies together. Ask your child to remind you when to take them.

2.       Define what you consider to be acceptable and unacceptable behaviours in your child and agree them with  those  who have anything to do with your child and your child. Remind you child each time you are in a conflict situation about that expectation in a clear, repetitive, calm detached way. Keep repeating over again.

3.       Start each day as a new day, no carry over

4.       Put a system in place for defining clear boundaries with your child. Everyone then understands the base line and has a clear expectation. Well structured reward charts work here – so always honour the agreement.

5.       Praise your child and reward your child whenever they do well. Use this as a base to add extra incentives to the system

6.       Spend quality time together, plan it and enjoy, make it time out for you. Use it as an  opportunity to balance back into your own life

7.       Monitor diet, grow food together and pan to cook together. Follow the rainbow diet plan together. Check out sensitivities with the muscle testing technique. Turn it into a game

8.       Exercise together – allow your child to be the coach and empower them in this way

9.       Run relaxation sessions together – allow your child to help you relax too – like a hand massage together you both benefit from this.

10.   Read stories like Willow’s helpers and do the follow up activities This will lead you to more quality time together.

11.   Be part of the HET Pet programme bring animals into your life together. Brilliant for the exercise programme.

And FINALLY and most importantly – HAVE FUN together at some point every day. Remind yourselves of what that was before you go to bed.

Tags: ADHD ADHD Natural

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