This week saw 4 year old McEnzie Dunkley permanently excluded from his new school Sacred Heart Primary School in Preston, Lincs

 

The reason?

 

Teachers say he attacks them, flicks light switches and won’t do as he is told. His Mom says he is being treated like  a “Teenage thug.” And always does as he is told at home .

 

So who is to blame here?

 

The 4 year old who is typical of the 5% of children now carrying a formal diagnosis of conditions like ADHD, ADD, Asperger’s syndrome or Autism and 20 % of children world wide who are exhibiting similar behaviours. Who very often lose the plot on just bingeing out on some additive hidden in their food intake for example?

 

Or is it  the school who are quoting that the child needs ‘specialist intervention’ – perhaps from  a specialist behavioural unit  like one from the South of England who had recently achieved excellent results from implementing an innovative behavioural support programme commended by OFSTED, the government department for standards in education. However, they  were made to discontinue the programme because of severe cutbacks in spite of children’s improvements on the programme?

 

Or is it the parents themselves, many not able to go out to work as they live in dread of a “Zero tolerance policy” phone call home from school to come and collect their child who has sussed out that it is easier to have a melt down at school  and be sent home to play on the play station that to sit in a classroom that is not designed to accommodate hypersensitive behaviours?

 

Well, McEnzie may only be 4 years old but he is certainly highlighting what the true costs of public cut backs are today!

 

When are we going to listen to what a generation in crisis are telling us?

 

For families and professionals  needing help with these  problems the first ever  free social networking site for behavioural problems  with behaviour support resources is now available. Stories on the site from parents and professionals are now highlighting how bad the situation is and what can be effectively done about it .

 

Visit www.HETwebsite.com and register for a FREE starter pack to help today.

 

 

·         Every year 40,000 children and adolescents in Britain are prescribed some form of anti-depressant. (NICE)

·         Government figures show there were 9,880 expulsions from primary, secondary and special needs schools in 2003-4, up from 9,290 in 2002-3. (BBC news)

·         A recent Mori Poll cites a six-month study by the Metropolitan Police, which estimates that 40% of all robberies, 25% of burglaries, and 20% of thefts in London are committed by children aged between 10 and 16, during school hours.

·         Autism has mysteriously risen by 287%

·         The National Institute for Clinical Excellence (Nice) estimates that as many as 500,000 children in the UK, one in 20, may have ADHD and, of these, 100,000 may be seriously affected.

·         Prescriptions of Ritalin - rose to 359,100 last year, a rise of 344,400 since 1995. Figures from the Prescriptions Pricing Authority reveal that there has been a 180-fold increase in prescriptions since 1991 when only 2,000 were issued in England.

Well the media was certainly  ablaze yesterday with yet another story to focus our attention on the crisis generation!

 

Little McEnzie Dunkley has been expelled at age 4, after just a few weeks at his new school. The reason apparently down to the fact that he has been flicking light switches and attacking teachers.

 

His Mom however denies that there is any problem at home where he always does as he is told.

 

Now this is very interesting, because I have been following a forum on ‘Facebook’ between a Mom who feels alone and cut off and that the school will not listen to her regarding her child’s problems and a teacher, who herself has ADHD and states that she spends 7 hours a day helping children like this and what they all need is medication and that teachers  do not need to be told their job.

OUCH!!!!!

 

Wow – I love these forums because it certainly gives you a flavour of how things are.

 

So what should little McEnzie’s Mom do now?

 

Well, she can certainly appeal against the full time exclusion but my guess is she will get another school and then spend most of the days waiting for the phone to ring to come and collect him as more and more schools go down the road of the ‘Zero Tolerance Policy’ option.

 

There has to be dialogue between home and school.

There has to be a clear home school partnership in place for the child to see and understand that dialogue and interaction.

 

There has to be clear communication and understanding in place as to what constitutes a ‘desirable’ behaviour and an ‘undesirable’ behaviour and a consistent way of delivering rewards and consequences around the choices that the child is able to make over these behaviours.

 

Now, not everyone in schools or families for that matter will have a clear understanding as to what I mean by a ‘hypersensitive’ behaviour but it is important for all parties to understand that there will be certain triggers to these kinds of anti social behaviours –and these triggers will be different for every child in exactly the same way as the behaviours will be different for every child.

 

It is only when we get a  handle on what these external triggers are, to these internal time bombs that we are going to be able to implement the appropriate behavioural strategies to support the children. We can give them the mechanism for  being in control of themselves rather than medicating them into submission which often increases  the ticking  time bomb. These traditional medications are known to have extreme side effects and often make the original symptoms worse.

 

Please point McEnzie’s Mom to our site!

 

Survive ADHD and similar  behavioural conditions

with

Flowers from the Garden

It was the day of my 56^th birthday and a difficult day in the most challenging year in my life as I let go of so much around me. Something so many of us are experiencing right now, in different ways!

For me amongst other things, within 4 months, I had finally lost my mom to 10 years of Alzheimer’s and dementia, also Ruby, my little rescue boxer dog, my constant companion and HET helper.

So how did I spend my  birthday?

I visited mom’s graveside and spoke with her and then I walked across the fields with a spirit dog at my side and was given the birthday PRESENT.

I have based a very powerful psychotherapy tool designed around a remarkably accurate self- assessment process. The concept was derived from Mom’s favourite saying – “ Life is a garden without any doubt – you put good things in and you get good things out.”

So, the graveside conversation went something like this:

“Mom, if life is a garden and you get good things out why were your last years the way they were?”

And the reply came – from the words deep inside that echoed though me:

“ You are a ‘good thing’ that I planted in my garden. A beautiful flower and people from around the world will come to see and enjoy my garden. The world is full of books (…Mom was an avid reader!). Everyone has a book to write – the book is the story of their life. In each book are many chapters.  In each chapter are many pages. Each day is a new page and it is up to the writer what they chose to write on that page of that day in their life . I have written my book and you are my sequel.”

The words left their resonance within me as I processed my day. By the time I returned from my the walk  through the fields with a little spirit dog at my side as ever - I knew quite clearly, what I had to do.

I am preparing a concept book now called “Gifts from the Garden”. In my years of working with ‘The Garden Within Exercise’, now known as ‘Pat’s Garden’. In the interpretation, the flowers represent gifts (although when things first happen to us we do not always see them as ’Gifts’, ( that only happens with VAT – Value Added Time!) But many have asked me at workshops where I have taught this technique what the different flowers mean. Usually at this point I refer them to Google and ‘The Language of Flowers’ ( A Victorian technique of early ‘texting’! Only with flowers that all meant something special), or refer them to the colour significance of the flowers they drew, or even the Bach Flower Remedies from which Dr Edward Bach derived his essences which assist with emotional management.

However, in this concept - this isn’t my book, it is yours!

If you subscribe to ‘Flowers from the Garden’ – I will regularly send you (2 or 3 times a week, each week for a year, till my next birthday, ) a page to create your own book of personal development – based on the  underlying spiritual principles of HET. Each one is  an inspiring spiritual focus and a beautiful piece of my photo/art to inspire your feelings.

Complete each one for a few minutes on a chosen  day and that focus  will help to support the feelings within you and the insight of WISDOM, to create the life – scape that you wish.

Be a life-scape designer of  your own ‘Garden Within’!

Create your own journal – write your own book.

It is after all – “Up to each one of us what we chose to write on each page, each day!”

For a FREE copy of ‘Pat’s Garden’ please click here to download:

 

Please click here for your FREE downloadable pdf on 'Pat's Garden Within' - right click and  'Save target as' in internet explorer or 'right click 'Save link as' in Firefox!

 

 

To receive your FREE insights of ‘FLOWERS FROM THE GARDEN’ Please  email me to subscribe to the mailing list:

lin@HETwebsite.com

When I receive your email I will send you a powerful and relaxing meditation to listen to and to read through to start your garden. I wrote this many years ago when I ran the Centre for natural healing in Wolverhampton and so  many people have seen their lives start to change after using this meditation.

 I don’t wish to inundate your email box – so I will just wait to hear from you before I send this gift out to you.

I have attached a couple of the ‘Flowers from the Garden’ to start your book going! They are in pdf format if you wish to print them off and start to write on them. If you chose to create your own computer journal I will attach the photo art pictures for you to illustrate your page – how you like.

Enjoy them – See you in the garden!

 

 

What are the most powerful words you can write  for those who look up to you, on your life scape page today?

So many times I have heard people say unpleasant things about others – I refuse to join in and only speak of good things about others from today – I start today to say good things about those who have caused me pain in some way. In doing this I am painting my own self portrait.

Today’s interesting read was through the latest guidelines for ADHD produced by the national Institute for Clinical Excellence – (NICE) – 2008

Downloadable from here:

http://guidance.nice.org.uk/CG72/NiceGuidance/pdf/English

 

According to guidelines for ADHD:

Recommends care in diagnosis as symptoms overlap with other disorders.

Not every person with ADHD has all of the symptoms of hyperactivity,

impulsivity and inattention

All people with ADHD, including children, should have the opportunity to be involved in

decisions about their care and treatment in partnership with their healthcare

professionals.

Healthcare professionals should offer parents or carers of pre-school

children with ADHD a referral to a parent-training/education programme as

the first-line treatment

.

Teachers who have received training about ADHD and its management

should provide behavioural interventions in the classroom to help children

and young people with ADHD.

The child or young person should give their own account of how

they feel,  and  involve the child or young person and the family or carer in

treatment decisions

Drug treatment is not indicated as the first-line treatment for all

school-age children and young people with ADHD.

Parents and/or carers should be warned about the potential for suicidal thinking and self-harming behaviour

 

So how much of this relates to your experience of how ADHD is handled??

i came by a very interesting piece of research yesterday,it always pays to keep an eye open on the medical websites.

Apparently  scientists have been giveng amphetamines to adolescent mice. The results are tht these impairs memory function when they are older.

This piece of information has huge implications for giving adolescent children Ritalin type medications which have the same effect.

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/168318.php

This is another side effect to add to the list. What is scary about all of this is that it has taken 30  years to find this out. How many other side effects are there they still haven't been discovered. For example we are now looking at second generation ADHD diagnosed. How much of the heriditary factor and genetic damage is due to the effects of the drugs? We know that the artifical sweetener Aspartame damages DNA!

Now Ok, there may well be side effects they didn't know about like the whole memory 'thing' but what about the side effects they do  know about but haven't disclosed. Now call me a sceptic if you like but we do live in a remarkable age, where information is now readily available to all!

Check this out 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOW8LNU2hFE

 

Let me know what you think!

Have you tried a behaviour chart with ADHD children?

 

You know, my heart still aches for Ruby but swells with pride at the tributes and messages coming in from people around the world  whose lives she has touched!  Thank you all!

 

I mentioned in my  previous newsletter how she inspired children and families with emotional challenges in life and how she taught Daisy the rescue pig to do the same!!

 

Well, just after she and Daisy were reunited after we came  back from the retreat & animal sanctuary we built together, Steve the Techie made a short film of us all, talking about ADHD – This was Ruby teaching daisy the ropes!

 

The beauty of this little film is that it shows the  affects that ADHD behaviour sometimes has on siblings (who don’t have ADHD behaviour!) – see what I mean for yourself – and again use this little film with any brothers or sisters of an ADHD (or similarly, behaviourally challenged ) child you know!!!! – Ask them what Ruby is thinking and feeling about Daisy’s behaviour.

 

Use this as an insight into their  emotional needs regarding the impact of similar behaviours on their life – let me know what they  say and I can help you  put some remedies together or send you a sound frequency download!

 

Here’s the film! Watch Ruby in the background carefully!!!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBTjwNL5auo

 

OK!

 

Now, I mentioned last week that I was working on a special Halloween gift for you!!

 

Well there is one for you and one for the kids this week!!!

 

How many of you took heed of my  newsletter a few weeks ago, that said the most important thing to  do is to find quality time for you and set a rewards example for your child???

 

Lots of hands going up there…

 

And how many of you actually took notice and did this? Oooops – not so many hands going up there then!!!

 

Well this one is for you – Let’s try again!

 

The first thing you have to do is to make a commitment to YOU – email me and say “Lin – I want you to send me these gifts over the next 10 days to help nurture me!!!”  Because this is the difference between tricks if you don’t and treats if you do – in YOUR life!!!

 

Time out for YOU – doing what you like doing BEST!!!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhaIh0UUGyM

 

OK – I’ll leave that with you – and how you respond to this  will most probably reflect how your child responds to behavioural  incentive chart structures.

 

When working for a Local Authority, In my role as an educational advisor for families coping with behavioural problems, I researched why behaviour charts worked, why they didn’t and how to make them work – and all this insight and ready made charts to use  etc is available in our stepping Stone 2.

 

However, look at your response to rewarding yourself and the example that this is setting and then watch this next  version of the film  with your child. It is about  Daisy, Trick or treat choices! This will show you how to make a behaviour tool into  a powerful structure to provide consistent boundaries between home and school!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcuL5Fl4tnE

 

 

 

This is really helpful stuff when you start to get into it with your child – so please enjoy your time together and let me know how it goes!

With Credit Crunch, recession and society gripped in a mindset of fear, most families are feeling the impact. Children are the ones who are picking up the tab on this one – and guess what?

The very schools that we rely on to provide the level of support hat help children work their way through crisis times in their lives are laying off staff and local authorities are forced in to dissolving specialist teams and services that provide support for those most in need.

Many consultant specialists like myself, providing valuable services are no longer available as all funding has now gone into schools to pay for the services

.

 

The trouble is schools have had to use that funding to cover other costs. Take for an example one quote I had earlier this year from a behaviour unit for specialist provision from a lady who was training with me as a HET therapist:

“By the way ‘A’ has had no night terrors since starting the programme.”

The results with this lady’s case studies were very encouraging and later this year I had an  email from her manager:

“Sorry I have not got back to you sooner. As you can see under enormous pressure at moment with staffing but also with the LA cutting budget dramatically. Am in meetings most of time at moment. Bottom line is Im not sure if I will be able to continue training as they are making such cutbacks. Its a shame but I know you will understand how radically things can change in our lives and we have to rethink and prioritise. The idea of ‘L’ and I doing this training was always a luxury which was great, but now with ‘L’ gone, budget down, short staffed, I have no time to give attention to the programme to do it justice.

 

Well I guess ‘A’ is starting to have night terrors again!

 

This is the tip of the ice berg!

 

Did you know that if your child has special behavioural needs and is on ‘Action Plus’ programmes in a secondary school in the UK – then that school is paid £10k a year to provide appropriate support for that child?

 

How is that being spent?

 

How much say do you have as a parent into how what that provision should be?

 

Where does that leave you when your child is excluded from school which impinges on your working life and more to the point – the schools who refuse admission to their school unless your child is on medication?

 

YOU have choice and YOU have a right to choose what you want!

 

 

Just thought I’d share with you some of the latest research on ADHD medication

http://www.australiannews.net/story/553767

I also wanted to let you know about the latest behavioural development with Daisy the Pig with ADHD attitude today. She isn’t on medication by the way, although some days the attitude is too much!!! But generally Bach Flower remedies to the trick and a few Phytobiophysics® Flower Formulas, do the trick!

For the past few days, I have consciously been giving myself quality time (I walk my talk!) and I am seriously beginning to feel a huge difference.

I had to consciously focus on this again and revisited some of my earlier work to truly understand why this is so necessary… Please read on:

I was working on www.HETwebsite.com helping a lady to set behavioural rewards for her son. He wasn’t able to do that because he didn’t know what they were.

 

The reason? His Mom never rewarded herself – never gave herself any quality time or experience.  She is always giving and doing for other people – who  never seem to give anything back!  He had no point of reference for rewards.

 

How many of us does this apply to?

 

So I called on a Snow friend…. Daisy to help me to show the importance of taking quality time out to enjoy a reward, this Halloween.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhaIh0UUGyM

 

 

Please pass this on to someone you know who needs time out to celebrate the success of who they are …. And need rewarding!

 So much of the recent work I have been doing with HET points to a very interesting situation. As we all know behavioural conditions like ADHD, ADD, ODD, Autism, Asperger’s vary in symptoms from individual to  individual. Where we are looking at adults presenting these conditions, the key will depend on their frame of reference. Very often they are hooked into the symptoms  and will surround themselves with others who have similar symptoms and recreate these in their daily routines. The same approach goes for parents and carer’s beliefs about the condition. If the parent is solution focused, then their child responds well to treatment – irrespective of whether that is allopathic or alternative approaches ( apart from medication side effects – which is the main reason for parents discontinuing the medication route). Where the parent remains condition / symptom focused the child will  mirror the belief back to the parent.

The key seems to lie at the beginning of the process – almost like a self fulfilling prophecy which can be very difficult when other members of the family have been labelled with the same condition and the child fulfils the expectation / belief of the parent. This then gets labelled e.g. genetic and nothing can be done to help this. There is then a reluctance to try anything new even.

This is what I mean by condition focused. Where the parent sees indications to the contrary  and remains solution focused then the outcome is far more optimistic e.g. diet, exercise etc– the focus is on the measurement of improvement – this creates improvement within the child’s behaviour. This is what I mean by solution focused. Obviously, this is where the incentive charts score so well in HET as the focus is always on the positive from child and parent.

Where the charts breakdown is where the focus is placed on the undesirable behaviour because that in itself will generate more undesirable behaviour.

A similar trend is in keeping mood diaries: when mood ratings of 1 -5 are kept on a daily basis,  there is a direct correlation  between family members – even when they are not together. Mom or Dad are at work and have a bad day for instance, and the child comes home from school and has a bad day too. Then the dynamic builds up and that will trigger more episodes of ‘acting out’ in the child. Again when solution focused and looking at rewards or incentive tokens earned in the day,  this achieves more powerful results and improvements in the overall behaviour diaries.

Another indicator to look out for when keeping behavioural diaries  apart from the obvious things like foods etc is to notice barometric pressure e.g. is it windy or wet and also the moon phase which affects our emotional states. These indications are always helpful in strategy planning at vulnerable times.

Please add any posts here you think would be helpful in collating this information